Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Business

Account people are a dangerous breed, like a plague of zombie locusts which descend, albeit slowly (George Romero and Hollywood have proven time and time again that zombies are slow), upon the crops of the design industry at harvest time, making irrational changes and ruining layouts which would have once been bountiful.

Ok, maybe zombie locusts wasn't the best analogy.

Account people are like zombies – animated corpses which shuffle the earth, moaning as they fumble about, striking terror into the hearts of junior designers. Those who were only recently turned into zombies search for one thing from the humans they encounter: the PDF.

"Can you send me a PDF of that?"
"I just need to know what it'll look like. Can you send me a PDF of it?"
"I know you haven't worked on it at all, but the client really needs to see a PDF."

However, it is the truly dangerous zombies who know two, or even three acronyms in the business. Those who roam endlessly trying to find a PDF, or a JPG or a gasp! TIFF are a menace to the design business.

A typical encounter may be as follows:

Account Executive: "Uuhhh...need P....D...F of logo."

Designer: He punches the zombie in the head, attempting to damage the brain, or even remove the head. He is unsuccessful. "What do you need it for?"

AE: "For T....V...."

D: Swings his ruler at the AE. It hits the zombie on the side of the head, a glancing blow which doesn't deter it. "You'll probably want a JPG then."

AE: "For print toooo.....maybeee TIFF?"

D: Decides to use a distraction. "Right. Check your e-mail."


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